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We want to believe! (cue the X-files theme song). Has your kid been strangely interested in radio signals from deep space? Do they frequently bring up taking the next family vacation to Roswell, New Mexico? Do they constantly tell you how the Fermi paradox is really silly? Well then we’ve got bad news: your child is most likely an alien. Yes, underneath that normal human looking skin is a green… well, skin. And behind those normal human eyes are… alien eyes! Spooky, right? But don’t worry, obviously this kiddo comes in peace. All you have to do is take him to your leader, or take him to get ice cream. Aliens and kids both love ice cream probably. You’d think if aliens were real (we’re not saying they’re not real, they certainly might be, but just go with us on this), they’d just come right out and say hi, right? Why all the secrecy? Why the abductions and probing and all that? Do they view us the same way we view ants? Come on! Look at us compared to the little green men! We could kick their butts! Unless they have vaporizers. Nobody wants to get vaporized here. But in a hand to hand fist fight, those little guys (grays, as they’re called, although these ones are more greenish) would go down hard. Hopefully they come in peace. Till then, let your little guy practice some intergalactic diplomacy by suiting up as a little green man and searching for UFOs so he can finally “phone home.”